Durian Daze

It\’s like a Jet mated with a Hotel

It all started with the biggest plane I’ve ever been on, which became the single longest flight I’ve ever taken, ending in the hottest weather I’ve EVER experienced: 46 degrees Celsius.

Singapore is the first stop in my Singapore/Australia/New Zealand tour- I’m performing One Man Lord of the Rings here until Sunday the 23rd, at the DBS Arts Centre.

A Gorgeous Venue

If you’ve never been to Singapore, you must try to go. If for nothing else but to be wowed by its shopping- there’s even a festival called the great Singapore Sale- it’s going on right now. There are so many malls and markets, underground and stretching skyward, you could be shopping 24/7/365. Some places specialize in an eclectic variety of products- a bit of everything- others specialize in a specific product, like shoes, or electronics, even fruit.

This brings me to the subject of a fruit called Durian. People love it here- not everyone, but enough people- which I personally find terrifying.

A lethal looking fruit, oui? Try eating one. Tastes like it looks.

Now, I’ve met people who love headcheese, blood sausage, tripe- but Durian really takes the cake (which I’ll get to). Durian is most desirable when it’s at its smelliest and fermented to the verge of rotting. As you might imagine, this directly affects its flavour. I may sound small minded when I say “barf”, but I’ve actually eaten Durian (which I will eventually get to) so believe me, “barf!”

Cooked Blood Sausage. Guess what\’s for dinner? Your worst nightmare! Yay!

Just to press my point further, Durian cannot be sold near other markets, otherwise you’d have to burn whatever you’d bought, once you got home. Or hire an Exorcist.

She wasn\’t possessed, she just ate Durian.

I once had a piece of Durian cheesecake, my friend very graciously made for me, and I ate it, the whole thing, with a smile on my face. Call me an ungrateful piece of crap, but it tasted like onions blended together with garbage, in a cheesecake. I’ve never been much for sweets, I prefer savoury stuff, but Durian is in a class of its own- neither sweet nor savoury- it’s just f***ing awful.

If you like Durian, congratulations! You can have all of mine.


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